Graduation.

I want to check in.

7 Years ago, I set out on a journey. I packed everything I had (which wasn't much) and move to California in the hopes of putting all of my energy into becoming a "car designer".  To say that it was impossible was an understatement and I believe it was sheer ignorance and fearlessness that kept me going. I can't begin to tell you how many times I wanted to cry foul and leave because things were not moving fast enough or I felt like I reached a dead end. I willingly admit that there were times that my parents, my friends, and even instructors lost patience with me.  I allowed that to happen and looking back, there is so much I would change (including bonking my younger self over the head a few times to speed this process up or focus).
This post isn't about all the times I screwed up though, because I did enough of that. Instead it is an honest admission and proof that you can be made better by your mistakes. Even going further to say that without taking the risks, without the mistakes and missteps, I wouldn't be here. I know now that although I do learn a bit more slowly but when I do learn new techniques/tricks/tips, it sticks. I learned that your friend circle will adjust based on your life and what you do,and thats okay.  I also learned how to communicate better, how to present with professionalism and how to sell an idea. I learned how to evolve my professional circle of contacts. I learned how to live.

Seven years ago I started this blog, at the insistence of my friend Paige at the time, she was so smart and knew art and design like I had never seen. She saw the benefits of the long game better than I could, but I committed to this. She was so immensely talented and I am so proud of where she is today - which is also graduated from ACCD and working in the Entertainment Design field.
Seven years ago, I wrote in my first post

"I just finished my first semester at the community college here and this is where I was advised to attend by the powers that be at Art Center. I did awesome, I am improving. I can be better."

How cute right? Bless my heart, I was trying I swear. Eventually I evolved to develop my Tumblr account, and a Twitter and still post about cars on Facebook too.  However it started in earnest here.

I am proudly exclaiming today that in just under 3 weeks time I will be graduating from Art Center.
I had an awesome time, I am still improving. I will be better.

I hope that those who have come here, curious to attend ArtCenter have been able to find information that is relevant to them - and I hope that those who are insecure in their art but desire this level of structure are able to proceed without caution, because if I can make it with persistence and the stubborn will to succeed, you can too.

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

This is the first post of 2012. The year I start Art Center College of Design.

To cover everything that I did while I was home would take probably 5 posts and one dedicated to me crying for some reason or another. Ill hop over the most important things that happened.

When I landed there was a huge windstorm back in Pasadena, to which I have come to the conclusion that only major weather events happen when I leave destinations.

I of course started back up at the Honda store I worked at long ago. I say it a lot on here but I have been incredibly blessed to have a job at my convenience and for them to keep me on the payroll. Theres a thousand things I did do while I was back there, but just like every past break I have spent there, things lead up to a lesson that I learn. That lesson was to accept that people will not like me, or the decisions I make. I did a lot of things to try to make day-to-day routines easier on those who worked with me. For reasons unknown to me I felt resented. The best way I can describe the response to me coming back to work with some of my co-workers would be icy.
        I was told towards the end of my month long stay that one of my co-workers whom I would confide my agitations with finally blurted out

"Honey, you make them look bad!"

and with that the lesson hit and hit hard. I was upset. I was more upset at the fact that I had walked into this place with the confidence I did to assume that when I started back doing this on my break I also started just working the way I did before without the care that two others worked with me. I had to endure working by myself for so long that is all I knew before coming back. I have a method that worked and before I came back they had hired two people in the 40 plus age group. Nothing against the ages, but they are set in their ways and would loudly announce in my presence that they did no like the changes I was doing. Which consisted exactly of the job I was originally hired to do. You know what that lesson was that I learned? Work your ass off. Work it off because you'll stand out. The people you make look bad will piss and moan, and while they're doing that you're creating change. Change for the better. As long as your intentions are good and you have been guided by the best to go above and beyond in your job, you'll shine.

Hate to say it but if only I was the manager there. Id fire and hire a new crew STAT to save some money that is clearly being lost.

Next week, I start Art Center. I have to get back into that mindset. Im excited and scared.

Taking a break and getting back into it-

It IS okay (at least in my eyes) to take a break.

On my flight coming home to Tennessee I drew intently in my sketchbook that I carry with me, doing side views of cars and playing with my colored pencils and how the lines would melt just enough with my markers when I would smear it over my drawings. The effect it created was really cool and I had been shown this technique by friends and instructors, but I knew that (as is the case many times when I fly back to my parents) my sketch time would be incredibly limited, if available at all, while I was back in TN.

    Not because I didn't want to while I was there, but because there is so much that needs to be done when I get back. My parents are incredibly busy folk and this year it seems that everything has been concentrated into a twelve month period. January through now has seen so much change by way of my grandmother who lives with my parents, and has Alzheimer's. Her disease has progressed to the point that no amount of literature that my mother reads or actions we take for her to retain memory can prepare us for what will probably happen over the next 6 months. Her brain has removed the stately, classy woman who golfed everyday but Sunday, traveled to Maui, Hawaii for her anniversary for my late grandfather every year and just lived. Today we are left with a shell of a woman who we fight to feed 3 meals a day to. She sits idly by the window in our living room at the end of our ranch-style home, across the room the television playing the days news which we all know she could care less about but it provides some sort of background noise for the slow and sometimes painful process of the disease that is ending the synapses in her brain. No longer do I become emotional as I once did over this disease, mostly because I had my moment following last christmas and new years break. I allowed myself to accept that she is no longer my Mamaw, because her demeanor and daily routine are not what I grew up knowing. She is a woman that I know and try to take care of as much as I can when I am in town now. My Mamaw left not too long after my Papaw passed in 2007. I can't blame her, because the affect that he had on her also pushed me to take this challenge of California and school on. When he left, I know she wanted to go with him. When he left, I knew that I should stop accepting the sub-standard life that I had placed myself in, and realize that only hard work and passion for a future will be what carries me forward. Everything in my eyes does happen for a reason, but the balance you have to place on that still exists.

I feel that I had to bring that subject up because it was at the forefront of this trip, my mother realizing what I had realized last christmas, only now. Watching my mother lose her own mother is extremely difficult.

While I have been home, I decided to return back to working at the Honda dealer I had worked at before, because the management team is amazing and through this process, has kept me employed with them. I have been so tempted to endorse them on this blog, but I don't know if they would want my endorsement (LOL) nor do I want to add too many names on this blog, because I know this is the internet and personal information is important to many people. I will say though, that I am sure you can find some pictures on this blog that show who this dealership is. I have to say its the most amazing team of people I have ever come across and I love them like they are my family. Flaws and all.

I bring the work up because I learned a life lesson this week. That is patience with others, and understanding situations deeper than face value. When I come in town, I do my best to be the jack of all trades guy. I enjoy greatly leaving my mark on the place by way of remaining in the background and providing change on a small scale. I know that details can oftentimes matter and taking the extra step to check inventory and make it look good can always look good in the customers eyes.

I think that I worry sometimes that if this California experience fails. I have the dealership to pad my fall. It is almost like, this can be too perfect. It feels too right and I fear the 'too good to be true' moniker. With my acceptance letter, I feel like I can soon accept to leave that part of my life behind (not the people though) and move forward once and for all.

The last little bit of news is the most exciting! The Los Angeles Auto Show press days are this week (16-17) and I LITERALLY am chomping at the bit to be there already. There will be an offensive amount of pictures posted here so brace yourselves.

BNA to LAX this evening.