Things that I have learned since this semester started 4 weeks ago have been a kick to the face.
Partly it is my fault, because not only did I allow myself to get rusty this summer by not actively starting the projects I had planned but after the wreck happened I put my design works on the back burner altogether. So when everything started back up I remember sitting in my Advanced Rendering class looking down at my paper trying to just do simple shapes in marker but it was like a monkey doing a math problem. An utter disaster. Starting with that mess and moving into the advanced product design class I have, it was bittersweet to be back in the class because I love where this class will take me, but the fact that I didnt have my prior instructor made me realize how lucky I had been to have him first. Not discrediting the current one by any means, his teaching style is just so-less polished-than in the spring, So he is difficult in my mind but no less effective and it will take time like any other teacher.
It bothers me sometimes when I sit here and have to talk about these issues in such a public way, but the stresses....they get to me you know? I, like 99.9999% of the human population hate the feeling of "surely someone else has gone through something similar" only to realize that your going through this alone. This past saturday I had to go to the hospital because for the last 3 weeks I have had this vein in my right arm-around the inside of the arm right at the bend-that has been popped out and stiff. At first I remember looking up the symptoms on WebMD, to which I was diagnosed to basically be dead. So my panic didnt subside and my stresses started to literally become worse, so much so that I guess I shut the world off, started sleeping less and I would be sitting at my desk and get so dizzy that I would be afraid to get up. So last saturday came and in typical fashion I became dizzy, but I immediately-and safely-got into my car and went to the hospital. I was so scared, scared to the point that I'm pretty sure if the parking was going to cost me any money by the time I got there I would burst out in tears. I waited in the emergency room for 2 hours and then was whisked to a little room where I probably waited 30 minutes more and was taken up to the other side of the hospital (in a wheelchair) to have an Ultrasound done on my whole upper right side. The verdict? I have superficial vein thrombosis. It is associated with deep vein thrombosis, which is deadly :-(. Scared is an understatement.
Hopefully Ill be okay. My dizzy spells are inconsistent now and I still think it also might be a byproduct of my stress. So after class today I came home and from 6:30-11pm I slept. I needed it.
Lesson from this month-do your homework and try to keep up, but dont kill yourself doing it.
BRAD. I had no idea about that whole thing, I'm so sorry that sounds frightening. You're gonna be alright though. Cause you're Brad. Seeing those pics from PDeena did make me miss it a bit. Even those long drives and warm mornings. Good times though.
ReplyDeleteB, you really had me scared when you were telling me what you had, and I am glad to hear that it can be treated, but carefully monitored. You better believe I will be your personal nurse, checking your arm, pulse, etc ;) I am always here for you, and you should know that by now.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a brilliant job with doing your best and not being too hard on yourself. All I can say is, you know what you've got to do, and kick ass while doing it. I believe in you. Bottom line. You will get through all of this, and will strive in whatever path you go down :)
Keep moving forward and I am always here to help.