One of the many awesome perks of going home to Nashville is, after spending all of the prerequisite time with the family, going to see all of my friends. New Years was no less an event to do so. I was able to see all my old co-workers from Honda and their spouses plus meet a few new people. I dont care what you say, celebrating New Years at a big party is great, but spending it with friends in the absolute middle of nowhere seems just as great. Following New Years (by the way happy 2010!) I spent my time running around being a ratty kid just because I wanted to. Visited the Porsche-Audi-Jaguar dealership in South Nashville to see the new Panamera again in-person. I had seen it at the Los Angeles Auto Show back in the beginning of December, but the Panamera is just so stunning to not want to see twice. Also I brought my father along for the ride so he could see it too. He was taken aback by the Turbo model they had on display, light blue and $157,000. Gorgeous.
Besides running errands with Mom and my grandmother (I call her Mamaw), there wasn’t much to do once 2010 hit. School was looming on the 11th so I began wrapping my stuff up to come back out. Leaving Mamaw ended up being a “last-minute thing” when I usually like to drag out me leaving to more than I did so I know I can isolate personal time with her to just be in her company. To best explain her, she has dementia and it affects my whole family. I laid in my bed the other night knowing I was going to adress this issue because I couldnt fall asleep until it was completely figured out in my head. To best describe my grandmother 8 years ago it would be a vibrant 60something woman with a neat sense of humor and very wise. Generations wise. So to see this woman who was happily married to my Papaw for 48 some odd years go down this road honestly has broken my heart to its core. There is nothing in this world that I would want more than for her to be in my life forever. She is the kind of person, in my eyes, that when you spend time with them. You feel that youre not giving up or losing any of your own time. Instead when I have spent time with not only her but my Papaw when he was still alive, I have always known that when I am with them it is very special. Special that has no price tag or time limit. So to realize midway through my first semester here last fall that I was probably going to miss out on valuable time with her for the next chapter in my life the whole situation caught me off guard. If there is anything that has ever stuck me to my core it is that woman and the happiness that she brings me. She gave me my mother. Why do people who are so good, get alzheimers? Why does my grandmother have to lose her mind in front of us? What will the day be like when she forgets who I am? How will I handle that? I dont think I could wish those feelings on anyone. The reason why I talk about this is because I sometimes wonder if my timing was right. If moving and starting school and attempting pretty much the most impossible thing I have ever done, was the right choice.
God I hope so.
First week of Winter Semester is over with and I feel better. The instructor is supposedly one of the top of the top to take so I am entrusting him with my progress. Went bowling tonight with friends. Had In-N-Out for dinner. Tried to make caramel tonight to go with some apples....didnt work....I know one thing, Im not supposed to be a chef in life, but god I love food.
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